okay, i am posting.

i have NOT posted, sarah, because you are the only one who seems to faithfully read this thing, and we talk often, so why would you want the same info twice? Guess i should work on being a little more insightful like you are...hmmm....

well, we are MOVING!!! in 12 days! anddddd ~ it is okay if we PAINT! i am just giddy, and was very worried about it, hoping we would get permission to make this renting-leasing-to-own house really "ours". That issue was on my mind most of the day and the night for many days in a row. THEN, I heard a little talk from our pastor's wife...adressing a verse from Chronicles which talks about "high places". She pointed out that our "high place" is what we think about most, and is therefore an idol in our life. well, this new house was definitely an idol. so, I gave it to God. I said I will not make it my idol anymore. I will let it be YOUR house (after all, HE is letting us use it!) and did not think about it, until this evening, when I called the owner of the house, and he said "I received your email about painting, and YES, you can paint. i think that would be a very good idea"
WOOHOO~~!!!! (Is it still our idol when we want to jump for joy?). so, Thank you, God. That is so awesome! Finally...I can make something be "my own" again - not that I no longer think of it as YOUR house, but, once again, something can be a reflection of me, and of you in me. Thank you thank you thank you.

My other update is that I am now homeschooling Luke and Emme. The emme thing kind of happened by accident...she was home a lot during December, when, without a 2nd vehicle, it was not working to take her to 1/2 day kindergarten. She quickly grew happier to be home, and more reluctant to go to school. I insisted for awhile throughout January, but it becaome very obvious that she had been behaving badly every afternoon after school - the over-stimulus was too much fo her little self, and she was not kind and sweet most days like the Emme we once knew. So, today, Ben kindly went to school and signed the necessary papers. When he got home, I anxiously asked him how that had gone, and he said okay - just felt a little sheepish around the powerful director and secretary, and without realizing I had even been thinking it, i said "Isn't it nice to have our little girl to ourselves again?", which surprised me! I had been unaware that my thoughts were of robbery. But it sure is nice to squeeze her when I want to, and it sure is nice that Luke is not alone all day with no other kids - i think that is dangerous for children - to have too much of their own space. Life does not offer you your "own space" when you want it, so I like that he still needs to share it. I can't describe the relief I feel now that she is home with me. We will see what next year brings, but for this season, I can mother her and train her, and reclaim days and weeks I may have otherwise lost - filled with opportunities to mold her into a thoughtful, sweet young lady. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a little life.