here I am...

sitting in this comfy chair, where I have never sat before, at the Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City ,Utah. My precious little girl, Victoria, is lying in a bed hooked up to an i.v. of saline and morphine ,waiting for surgery to remove her appendix. Holy cow....just TRY being a sensible mother for ONE DAY. Two days ago, (Monday), she did not want to go to school...i have been thinking I would homeschool her, but still have not been sure of what is best for her...anyway she said her tummy hurt. I told her to drink more water and take some Vitamin C. Tuesday she happily went to school...came home and said her tummy hurt still, I suggested she use the bathroom, drink more water, and rest a bit. Wednesday morning, (was that today, or yesterday?) she became teary, still saying her tummy hurt, now explaining that she had had diarrhea for a couple of days. I gave the child HALF OF AN IMMODIUM, and SENT HER TO SCHOOL.

1 hour later, I got a call saying her tummy hurt a LOT and I should come get her. I put on my "public" clothes (like you sarah...have to be comfy at home!) and went to pick her up. we drove TWO BLOCKS and she said she felt sick, so I pulled over, yanked her out of the car, and in a moment, the grass held proof that she indeed needed to come home! By 11 o'clock she was yelping in pain about her tummy every 30 seconds or so, as i was calling ben and any friend I could to pray and ask for advice. Ben made it home around 4, and we were still not sure what to do with the sometimes-drama-queen. Finally we decided she should go in, as all of her symptoms fell in line with appendicitis.

HOURS later, we were settled into a room...we had arrived at the hospital at 7 p.m. She did very well while they inserted an i.v., drew blood from another site, and ran a CT scan which included a rectal catheter to fill her with fluid and make her appendix more evident. Quite traumatic for a tiny 9-year-old who doesn't remember ever having visited a doctor! It is now 4:30 am, and we may get an operation underway around 5:30. She is quite fearful about the whole thing, and has asked if they will cut the wrong thing or place, or what happens if she wakes up during surgery....i am praying she is OUT fast!!

so...tomorrow. (today?) I will post an update on how things are going. They say this is our home for the next few days or so..depending on the looks of things when they "get in there". hanks, everyone for your prayers and thoughts. if you have any funny jokes I could tell Victoria, I am sure she would love to hear them.

THIS little girl...

Ugh. She is so sweet, and so smart, but can't seem to hack first grade. We (both of us!) shed so many tears last week over her inability to be with a crowd of kids for an entire day, with a routine that is rigorous and changes occassionally without much warning...in case you don't remember, Emme arrived early. 3 months early, in fact, giving her the distinction of being a "micro-preemie"...born before 29 weeks, and weighing less than 2 pounds. I thought we had conquered so many of these obstacles before...crying at a sudden niose, sensitive to a lot of commotion, red dye, or an itchy shirt tag...but this new change has been overwhelming. For the first few days, I insisted she go, and she "adjusted", but would come home silently introverted, and cry in exasperation if a sister asked her 2 questions, or if a brother walked by and hugged her without warning. The first week was a little rocky, then we went camping, hoping the break would help her ease into things a bit. Day #6 of school...tough but she went. Day #7, I had her all prepared to walk out the door, and she fell apart! Crying so hard she could not tell me what was wrong, just a blank stare off into oblivion, frozen in fear. Finally she said "yes" to the question (#473) "does your TUMMY hurt?" so, not wanting her to be sick in school, and really not knowing WHAT was wrong, I kept her home.





(This is her with big sister Victoria...emme is about 3 months here. )


Day #8 - Brought her breakfast in BED, with a SMILE..."Get up, you're going to school today!" She got dressed, daddy was around, I asked HIM to take her thinking he won't cave as quickly as I do. 7 minutes later, he returned, walking into the kitchen for some pancakes. I was so relieved and was just about to ask how everything went, when around the OTHER way of the house's circle came EMME! I was obviously surprised, and said "What happened?" He said "Apparently, she would rather have a spanking than go to school!". This shocked me further, as it is strict policy at our house to only spank for deliberate disobedience. This was not the case. He said he had pulled up to school, the other two kids got out, and she sat in her seat, frozen. He said "Emme, hop out of the van - you have to go to school". She just sat there and began to cry...the type of cry you see when a child is deathly afraid of a dentist or of water. She could not talk to him, or even stand up, she just sat crying. He threatened, bribed, everything he could think of and said if you don't go to school you will get a spanking - is that what you want? she just continued to cry. So, he came back home! He did have a little chat with her later, explaining that she did not NEED a spanking, but he needed to know how serious she was about missing school.

We discussed it at length...What do we do? do we want her in school? WHY do we want her in school? do we HAVE to make her at the age of 6? can we wait? Do we go back to kindergarten? Do we try to do half days of first grade? What does the Bible say? What is best for Emme? Are we babying her? Has she improved at all since the age of 2, with the hourly crying spells over a doorbell ringing or vacuum cleaner starting? Why do we want her there again? Why is this so difficult. We came up with YES, and NO, and more of the WHYs.

The root of the problem is an underdeveloped nervous system...apparently the medical community has still not developed an artificial womb. Tiny babies exposed to beeps, lights, needles, tests, nasal tubes, iv's, and gruff doctors can't seem to build up resistance to every day life the same as a full term baby would. Coming home to a bustling house full of children did not give her further opportunity to balance out her inner "self".



When my word program cooperates, I will add more of the pertinent info I have recieved froma wondeful new friend on Oregon..she is a special-ed teacher with a micro preemie as well, and included in her affirming email that for Emme to be in a busy public place is honestly physically painful. Ugh. so, as a mother, you think "I have been FORCING her to go be in pain every day?!?" followed by guilt. Therefore, we will slowly work on her, guard her, watch what she eats and how much time she spends in groups, and tell her over and over - you can not cry over everything, but you must communicate with people so we can help you. For now, she will be home schooled, along with Victoria who is feeling overwhelmed, too. we are glad because it will be much more peaceful, and a little sad because it means one more school year of intense mom-kid time, and not just MOM time! Some days I think "I did not sign up for this. My expectations were to have well-adjusted children who can be confident in any setting and make friends easily". Instead, I was given precious gifts..well in advance of when I thought they would arrive. I was able to witness the miracle of them opening their eyes for the first time. I watched them breathe on their own, and learn to drink from a bottle, and smile when they recognized an older sibling - all with intense appreciation. When life hangs in the balance, it is so much more miraculous to see it be fulfilled. For now, I know we are doing the best we can, as any parent does. I know that our little girls can handle staying with their grandparents peacefully, and that they can answer the phone politely. The day will come when they can face a crowd without fear, and not be offended when another person looks at them and says "Hurry UP!" In the meantime, I will treasure every moment I can. I know those moments are gone with the wind all too quickly.

more on camping...

Gabe and fellow camper Ryan Dutson...oldest son of our wonderful friends that went with us! we did what we could to talk those boys into a HAIRCUT! I have not yet lost hope!

Our friends Jennie and Enoch, near strummin' Christian...

The fabulous rain cover that the men strung up in the trees when we were sprinkled on during saturday's dinner. it was SO nice..you hardly knew it was raining, and it only lasted 25 or so minutes. The forecast had heavily predicted rain, so we were sure praying for dry weather!

Ben and Victoria...happy campers!
Christian and Gabe, chompin' on typical camping fare - CHEETOS!

Emme's ready to go fishin'!!
Boys playing a game, and Christian with the ever-present guitar. He sat and figured out how to pluck the Mission Impossible theme, in the woods!



Emme had a go, as well...her brothers will play the chords or notes while she strums, leaving her to think SHE is a pro guitarist!
Yummy....I told Ben later we could live quite cheaply on s'mores in the woods. The challenge was to see how many layers you could roast and remove from your marshmallow. 3 was the record!



THIS is how I found Victoria in the middle of day #2.


ZONKED!

More on the camping adventure...

Can you say "Idyllic"??
Emme loved the CHILLY stream!! no one else could stand to be in it for very long. she insisted that if you took your shoes off, it wasn't so bad!

the 4 oldest boys "juggling"...
mmm..sweethearts :o). it was FREEZING that night!


2 sisters...ben HAD to get this inflatable love seat...it was never empty!!

WENT campin'!!

The ride UP the mountain had amazing views!
Ben and Christian...figuring out the new tent with its pathetic directions!!


HOORAY!!! All the parts were there!

The boys,er, MEN, had their own tent across the stream...helped at night while they were composing "The Camping Song" and others about lovable characters like Barney...that poor guitar never had a rest!

More to follow.... (see above. how weird is that?)

Goin' campin'!

Yep. And it was my idea! Not to brag...but if you know me, I am MUCH more in my comfort zone at a Marriott! About a month ago, we went on a picnic with some friends to the most beautiful spot. (see here for a refresher...) I SO wanted to spend more time there, so now we are planning to go this evening with some friends, and stay through Sunday. I think we have everything we will NEED...my only concern is BEARS. yep - they are something of which to take note. SO...we lock up the food, and pray for safety! The link included here shows where we will be, and we are staying at site #29, in case we don't return home by Sunday evening. There is no cell reception up there, which means we are ROUGHIN' it! not really...it should be fun, and I will post lots of photos next week. so if anyone reads this, you could pray that we are fine, and you might want to let the park rangers know "Novice campers in The Timpooneke Mountains. We don't know WHAT they were thinking"...

see you next week!

New endeavor

well...we are embarking on something new...something that has been on our hearts for quite some time now, and God is opening doors! last night, we had the associate pastor and his family over for - what else - PIZZA, and sat and talked for over an hour about the newly formed "realtionships" facet of our church's ministry, and the role we would play...it has evolved into a many-week series, with information gleaned from several top parenting teachers around the country, as well as our own experience teacing 10 years, and parenting for over 14! The poster that will be displayed will resemble this,

and will hopefully and prayerfully catch the eye of families who could benefit from it. I will keep you updates on the exciting progress!!

School daze.

well...yesterday was the first day of school for the youngest 3, Luke, Victoria and Emme, in 6th, 4th, and 1st grade, respectively. There were mixed emotions, as well as some very clear thoughts of "I don't want to stay here" once we found ourselves in the midst of hundreds of kids throughout the school grounds. But...all in all, they each had a great first-day experience, which was great, since this is all new to them! The sun was shining brightly at our house by 8:20 a.m., which made for a squinty photo pose!

The girls and I were up first, and together made a fun chocolate-over-biscuits breakfast. Not healthy AT ALL, but a fun treat...and your brain doesn't have to work too hard on day #1! After all 3 were ready, Ben & I drove them to school, and went walking to find where each of them belonged. We had missed back-to-school night when Emme said she felt ill right at the last minute...THAT unfortunate moment made for a nervous mom and kids Wednesday morning! Each grade has their own entrance/exit door, and before school begins, they stand in line and wait for the bell to ring. School begins at 8:50, which provides time for a very relaxed morning. I am LOVING that!

On day #2, I walked with the kids...leaving Luke a little embarrassed that all the kids in his class would see his MOM, but providing me with an energetic start to my day - yahoo! By the time we rounded the bend today, Emme scampered off ahead of me to her line, with no worries or tears. another "Yahoo"!

BIRTHDAY!!!

Our baby is 6...sniff, sniff...HAD to happen, but boy, do I love to still cuddle them in my arms when they will give me a moment to do so...time goes by WAYY too fast! Here are some clips from our "Teddy Bear Breakfast" We thought we would try a morning party, b/c the birthday girl is always "fresher" before noon....and it might be nice to have the afternoon to clean up after the celebration!! Guests arriving in pj's were welcomed at the door with a fun display of bear items, and pictures and memorabilia of Emme, including some handpainted baby shoes she wore as an infant. After enjoying teddy bear pancakes, they all played games, including "Musical Bears"...where the BEAR had to find a chair! Once a bear was "out", they received a special party hat and sat on the side lines. Our friend Daisy made fun placemats to color, which were then covered in clear contact paper. The kids then crafted special brown bear bracelets, all while big sister Victoria read a story. Once "pin the heart on the Bear", and "hot Potato Bear" were finished, it was cupcake time...and everyone was treated to little chocolate cakes graces with pink hearts, or peanut butter frosted ones with oreo paw prints! Small cinnamon bear cookies, vanilla piroulines and cheery chocolate teddy bear cookies completed the spread. Everyone took home their fun goody bag, complete with pink Glurch...which is still entertaining Emme's big brothers!

Wonderful Utah....

We went picnicking last Sunday up in the mountains..it was SO nice - almost 10 degrees cooler than the sweltering dry valley heat which we left behind. The giant trees (one that two men could barely wrap their arms around) shaded everything just the right amount, with sunlight glinting through the leaves as we listened to the nearby river flowing and splashing. A deer gracefully passed by, about 40 feet from where we sat roasting marshmallows, headed to the river for a cool drink. I, NOT a camper mind you, fell so in love with the surroundings, that I talked some friends into a little jaunt up there next weekend to TENT, no less, for two nights. When I tried to reserve a spot, though, I was met with disappointment, as that weekend is a HUGE Utah holiday. "Pioneer Day" they call it - the day that Utah was officially a state. It took decades to be recognized as such, due to the religious practices and conflicts with the law regarding their traditions. People who have not been here or done a lot of research, believe that most "Utahns" live in families with multiple wives. Well, for the record, that is a rare, unusual, and very sequestered practice. The average family where I live has one wife, or no wife at all, and for the most part, they are normal. They DO have an odd accent...they stress the "g" at the end of any word with an -ing suffix. They leave out hard consonants in the middle of words. (i.e. "kitten" is "ki-ehn", and "mountain" is "mou-ehn") But it really is a wonderful place to be, and would be absolutely perfect if they could just make the temperature remain at 70 degrees or more year-round. HA! In my dreams, says Ben. I don't know...I am holding out for global warming!

GIRLS' ROOM FUN!

We have been busy!!! Knowing grandparents were coming soon, the MOTHER here was very motivated to get this room in order...so what follows is a little slide show depicting the evolution of the "princess boudoir". (you are not seeing the other side of the room that has some details yet to be completed.) The bed began with its black headboard, lovingly made by Ben, and a vintage chenille bedspread. Their last room had a painted wood valance, with pink crushed satin curtains suspended behind it. That was taken down, the curtains made into a pouffed bed skirt, and the valance hung above the closet door with lace draped around it. I made an additional bed skirt from shocking pink crepe and a thick piped edge of chartreuse silk. A matching silk pillow is on the bed, edged with white pom-poms. IKEA supplied us with a cable to run around the perimeter of the bed, and the tiny clips hold a netted curtain, complimented by ribbons in the same bright pink and pea-soup green. More ribbons flutter over and around the window on a 10-ft rod, which also supports some dainty vintage baby items, including a long gown once worn by Ben himself! The crystal pendant chandelier also came from IKEA...if you want to shop there, please come visit us...we will treat you like royalty during your stay in the princess room!!

Father's Day Celebration!!!

Father's day was wonderful here...the sun was shining, we came home after church and grilled a nice, relaxed lunch...the boys all bought their dad something special from Target, but that was not even the highlight...

all 5 kids were baptized!!! It was something that a couple of them had asked repeatedly to do, and we knew the church was in the process of planning one in June. I requested that it happen the weekend Ben's parents would be here, and the pastors were very accomodating. SO, as a surprise to Grandma and Grandpa, all of the kids decided they would like to on the same day! To top it off, the pastor over that facet of the church offered to let Ben and his dad perform the baptism, and it was more emotional that I expected! The pastor shared about family legacy, and what a blessing it was that ben was #5 in a line of generations that served God, with no divorces, and raised Godly children, and the whole church was teary...We began with the oldest, and went down the line. i knew ahead of time that the kids would all be asked if they had something to say. I also knew that the girls would be too shy to just ad-lib, so I had them write out their thoughts on small cards beforehand. One by one, each child climbed in, said their piece, got dunked, and climbed back out. when it got to Victoria, she was a little fearful, and decided she did not want to read her card. That was okay, and things proceeded as normal. Then Emme got into the tub... she scanned the crowd, and ducked down so no one could see her, frozen with self-consciousness! When asked if she would like to read, she became teary and said "I don't want to do it". After a little useless pleading, I pulled her out, and we waited until the lights dimmed & the crowd dissipated. Then she said she would really like to do it after all, and it was so sweet...Grandparents watching, our good friend Ana right on the scene with a camera, and Emme with her whole heart saying she loves Jesus and always will. The excitement at church was followed by a party at our hosue late in the afternoon, where Ben made yummy pizza, and Ana brought a delectable chocolate cake. We had 24 people over, and some of them played a rousing game of scrabble (?). The boys headed upstairs to the "library" for a video game fiasco, and we had a wonderful visit with friends and family. It was a good day!

Photobucket Album

SO much to say.....

let's begin with...ben's mom and dad visited...so I am posting some photos from their trip here. They stayed 6 days, and we all had a very nice time. all the "boys" went hiking one day up by the copper mine...it is the only open pit mine which can be seen from the moon. In some of our other photos of soccer games, etc, you can see thie mountain in the background with veins of copper spillin over as a result of explosives. The girls spent a day in a little shopping village, with luke, and an aunt and cousin from AZ, we spent a few hours at IKEA (woohoo!), and all went to a fun restaurant, The Mayan, one night for yummy dessert and live entertainment by divers and jungle drummers. pics below!!!

Are you a GARAGE SALER?!?!?!?

Check THIS out!!! I am so excited for garage sale season, as I love turning "trash" into "treasure". I am going to start posting some of my fabulous garage sale finds, and if you don't do the "bargainblast" on weekends already, you soon will!!

Clean Hands Club

you can, too, with Persani hand gel...this stuff is great, especially since we now have an IKEA, and I love to spend the whole day there with my little ones. ALL the kids in utah are there. we have not yet used their Smaland, the little drop-off play center, because it is ALWAYS FULL! IKEA did not know what they were getting into when they built in Utah.

The average number of children per family in the USA is 1.9.

The average number of children per family in Utah is 5. Maybe one day they will expand their play land...perhaps then I might stay longer. but one whole day is not nearly enough. so, for now...with all of the coughing, sneezing, allergy/cold-infested children playing with EVERYTHING in sight, we are liking our Persani.

Join the CLUB for a BOGO coupon!! ~